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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26437732">one single thread of gold tied me to you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyscully/pseuds/nerdyscully'>nerdyscully</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Dialogue Heavy, First Kiss, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Season/Series Finale, Reunions, Sappy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:46:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26437732</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyscully/pseuds/nerdyscully</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Troy and Abed meet again, Abed is quiet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>170</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>one single thread of gold tied me to you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! this is my first work in the community/trobed fandom, and i guess it's a pretty cliche choice for my first fic; i know lots of people have written takes on troy and abed reuniting, but i had this idea and couldn't get it out of my head. i'm always nervous when i write something for a new fandom, but i hope that you enjoy it! and thank you to my wonderful girlfriend for beta'ing this!</p>
<p>title is from invisible string by taylor swift (i know.....i couldn't help myself)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
When Troy and Abed meet again, Abed is quiet.</p>
<p>It’s not like he’s silent or refuses to speak. When he sees Troy, he hugs him and asks him how he is, and he smiles, looking really truly happy, but it’s like there’s an invisible wall between the two of them, and something is holding him back. He’s reserved, keeping his hands firmly at his sides and his voice at a very even, rhythmic level. Troy, when he dreamed about seeing Abed again, when he played the scene out in his head (and he did, a million times), it was like every happy ending in every movie. They would run to each other, smiling big and toothy, and they would hug, holding each other so tight they’d nearly squeeze the air out of each other. When they pulled away, Abed would start talking a mile a minute, catching him up on absolutely everything. They’d stay up all night talking and make a blanket fort in Abed’s LA apartment, and it would be perfect.</p>
<p>And it’s not that it’s not perfect. It’s just—something seems off, and he can’t quite put his finger on it, but it’s eating away at him. </p>
<p>Instead of going straight to Abed’s apartment, they go to a little restaurant close by the airport. “This is my favorite Italian place,” Abed explains as they walk in. “They let me write scripts while I have lunch, and they don’t care how long I stay.”</p>
<p>“You’re writing <em>and</em> directing?”</p>
<p>“Well, not quite directing yet. I’m a PA, so I run around and do everyone’s chores. But it’s not so bad,” He glances at the busboy and holds up two fingers with a suggestion of a smile. That makes Troy soften just a bit, because Abed still smiles the same way: close-lipped and subtle, but warm and friendly at the same time. “I didn’t come here and expect to be the next Tarantino right away. Overnight success stories make good movies, but if they happened all the time in real life, no one would make movies about them, I think.”</p>
<p>They’re seated at a small, cozy booth with a candle in the center of the table and everything. “It’s been awhile since I went to an actual restaurant. I think the last time was…God, what country was I last in? Australia. You know they eat kangaroos there, too? Fucked up, man. The accents are cool, though.”</p>
<p>Abed raises his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side. “You really did make it around the world. That’s good.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. It took us awhile, and there were a few setbacks, but hey, here I am,” Troy grins. He remembers when LeVar told him in Australia that they had made it around the globe and asked him if he wanted to return home. He had instantly texted the Greendale Seven groupchat and found out that everyone had ended up in different places, but they were able to arrange time off and put off commitments in order to meet up in LA when Troy was expected back. Jeff said they had been waiting for years for this, everything else could be put on the back-burner; even workaholic Annie agreed. Thinking back on it, Troy finds it a little funny how they all assumed Troy would go to LA above any of the other cities his friends had ended up in, and how they all arranged to come a day after Troy arrived, as if to give him and Abed time to themselves. </p>
<p>“Two and a half years,” Abed muses, looking down at his hands on the table. “Do you feel like a new man? Usually when people travel the world they have a new perspective—I wouldn’t know.”</p>
<p>Troy ponders that for a moment, then decides, “No.” Abed tilts his head again, furrows his brows. “I mean, yeah, I guess so. I definitely feel different, but of course I would feel different, I’m two years older. I mean, I’ve got a beard now.” He touches his facial hair appreciatively, proud of how it turned out. “But I don’t feel like I’ve become a different person or anything like that.”</p>
<p>“Do you feel like a whole person?” Abed asks, and that makes Troy’s stomach drop. It’s something they talked about before he left: Troy becoming his own person, becoming a fully realized Troy Barnes instead of a half of a duo. Before he can answer the question, the waiter comes up and Abed orders them some drinks and appetizers.</p>
<p>He doesn’t end up answering it yet; in fact, he opts to ask Abed if he’s kept up with <em>Inspector Spacetime</em>, which makes him light up in the way he always did back in the day. It makes Troy feel more at ease, and the conversation becomes much easier and more natural from there on out.</p>
<p>The food is delicious, and Abed manages to catch Troy up to speed on what everyone’s up to nowadays. It’s Annie that he talks about the most, because they keep in touch often, with weekly, scheduled Facetime calls. “She must be working her ass off,” Troy says.</p>
<p>“Hasn’t she always?” Abed replies. Troy smiles, happy to hear that she’s doing well and she’s still the Annie they know and love. He grows more excited to see the rest of the study group, faces he hasn’t seen since his last day at Greendale. </p>
<p>He finds himself looking at Abed, <em>really</em> looking at him, throughout the rest of their dinner. At first he thought he looked the exact same, but then he notices that he’s got slightly longer hair, curling at the nape of his neck, and his skin is just a little more tan. His eyes are the same warm color, but for some reason, when he smiles, they don’t sparkle like they used to. Even back then, it was subtle—he’s never been the type to grin or laugh loudly like Troy does. But now, the only thing that changes on his face when he smiles is his mouth. It bothers Troy so much he’s starting to lose his appetite, and he turns down dessert when the waiter offers it.</p>
<p>They walk back to Abed’s apartment. It’s a short journey. “Do you walk everywhere?” Troy asks.</p>
<p>“Pretty much,” Abed replies. “I have my driver’s license but cars are way too expensive, and there’s nowhere to park. I like taking the bus, anyway. I like people-watching. Gives me inspiration.”</p>
<p>Troy half-smiles at that, because he can picture Abed with his beat up notebook in his lap, studying people coming on and off the bus, making up stories about them in his head. “Bet you see crazier stuff than we did at Greendale.”</p>
<p>Abed hums in thought. “It’s about equal at this point.”</p>
<p>The apartment complex he lives in is a comfortable middle between a complete shithole and a luxurious gated community where everyone’s got a penthouse. Troy asks him how much his rent is and Abed’s eyes get big and he shakes his head. “I think it’s better if you don’t know.” It’s a small place, with everything in one room. The walls are covered in posters of movies that they’ve seen together, and there’s shelves and boxes of DVDs and VHS tapes everywhere. If he walked into the apartment alone, Troy would instantly know that Abed lives here. “You want something to drink? I got your favorite soda.”</p>
<p>“That would be awesome, man, thank you.” He catches the can when Abed tosses it his way, and makes himself comfortable on the couch while Abed sits next to him. He expects him to turn on a movie, for them to get sucked into an old or new favorite, and for things to slowly become the same, but the TV stays dark, and they look at each other for a moment before it tumbles out of Troy’s mouth. “What’s wrong?” Abed doesn’t reply. “Like—I just feel like something’s off, and I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’ve been away for too long, but you seem so quiet, and it’s freaking me out. Like, you’re not mad at me, are you? Because I don’t want you to feel like you have to be…the same, if you’re mad at me, I’d rather you say it, and—”</p>
<p>“I’m not mad at you, Troy,” Abed says decidedly. “You would know if I was mad at you. I’m not good at hiding that sort of thing.”</p>
<p>“That’s true,” Troy says, sagging a bit into the couch. “But it’s still bothering me. What’s going on in your head?”</p>
<p>He’s quiet, so fucking <em>quiet</em>, and it makes Troy want to throw something, pull his hair out, do <em>anything</em> to cause some sort of commotion. Because then maybe things would be back to normal, things would feel comfortable again if he just shook it up a little. “I guess it’s hard to put into words. Can I ask you a question before I answer yours?”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t answer my question at the restaurant. Do you feel like a whole person?”</p>
<p>Troy huffs a little. “I…” he starts, then stops, his thoughts stuttering and stumbling. “I don’t think I’ve never <em>not</em> been a whole person, you know? I’m a whole person just like you are, or anyone else is. I wasn’t half a person two years ago when I was still at Greendale.” Abed nods, as if in agreement. “Do you mean, like—do I feel like my own person?”</p>
<p>“Sure. Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Well, yeah, the answer to that is yeah, too. I want to change my question to you, then. Do you feel like your own person?”</p>
<p>Abed’s lips press together in a thin line. “Yeah, I do. Just a little different, I guess. But anyone would be different after 2 and a half years, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it’s not—”</p>
<p>“What you expected?”</p>
<p>He’s defeated. He didn’t want to say it in those exact words, but Abed is right. “Yeah. Not what I expected. But maybe I’m stupid for expecting it to be like it was.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think it’s stupid. I wanted it to be the same, too, but I don’t know how to make it like it was. I think that ship has sailed, no pun intended.” He isn’t looking at Troy in the eye, staring instead at the blank TV straight ahead of him.</p>
<p>“So what does that mean? Things can’t go back to how they were, so they’re…ruined?” Even entertaining the idea makes Troy’s stomach start to ache, and he feels like he needs to sit down even though he already is.</p>
<p>Abed is quick to shake his head, turning to glance at him very briefly before looking back. “No, not at all. I don’t think anything’s ruined, I promise, Troy.”</p>
<p>He isn’t a liar, so Troy believes him. “You know you’re still my best friend, right?”</p>
<p>Abed looks at him, then, and doesn’t shy away for once. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Of course. You never stopped being my best friend. No matter how far away I was.”</p>
<p>“You never stopped being mine, either,” he replies. “I feel like even if you went away forever I’d still consider you my best friend.”</p>
<p>Troy smiles faintly. “The thing about me being my own person…” he pauses, thinks for a moment. “I think I always <em>was</em> my own person. I was worried that I didn’t know to exist outside of…”</p>
<p>“Outside of me?”</p>
<p>He exhales. “No, it’s not that. It’s so hard to put into words. I’m not like you. You can say what you mean, even if it’s like, a reference or something, at least you can express it, and I understand you. Even if other people don’t—I <em>did</em>, I <em>do</em>, and that’s what matters, right? So I’m trying to make you understand me.”</p>
<p>“I’m understanding so far. We have all night, Troy. I don’t care if it takes that long, you can say what you need to.”</p>
<p>A warmth floods Troy’s chest and tears prick at his eyes. God, he missed Abed so much. “I was worried that I couldn’t be Troy Barnes, just the other half of Troy and Abed. But when I went away, when I was on the boat, I really thought of it, and I was a whole person when I was with you. But maybe I needed to go away to really realize that—” he stops. This is when shit gets real, and even after all these years, he doesn’t know if he can say it. “It’s too hard to say.”</p>
<p>Abed is still looking at him, though he can tell he wants to look away. “Well, maybe there are other ways to say it. At least, I think so. Think of dialogue in films—characters can say one thing, put something one way, but the audience knows what they mean. It makes a script interesting, right?”</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll try to tell you what I mean in other words, then.” Troy says, committing himself to it now. “I want you to know that I thought of you every single day. That’s not an exaggeration. In the morning, afternoon, and night. I thought about the others, too, but I thought of you the most. I figured out how to do the math in my head to figure out what time it was in Greendale compared to the time where we were in the world. LeVar heard so many damn stories, I must’ve driven him crazy, but he listened to every single one. I would dream about you all the time, things we would do together and things we never got to.” He rubs at his temples, still fighting back tears, though he knows Abed is the last person to judge him for crying. “That’s why I was scared that you were mad at me. I don’t know what I would do if I came back and you didn’t want to see me.”</p>
<p>“Troy, I always want to see you.” Abed says. “When you left, I barely spoke to anyone for a few days. I went into the Dreamatorium and ran simulations over and over where you didn’t leave. If Annie wasn’t there, I might’ve not eaten or slept, and who knows what would’ve happened.” Troy can tell that Abed doesn’t like speaking so frankly about this, about being so openly emotional; it’s awkward for him. But if he truly didn’t want to say it, he wouldn’t. “But I was okay with things after awhile. I hated myself for it, but I got used to you being away. At the same time, though, I knew that you wouldn’t want me to be mourning you all the time. I knew you’d want me to have fun with my friends—our friends—and make movies and do things you would be proud of. So I did.” He lets out a long exhale through his nose. “I’ve even had a few relationships here and there, because I knew you wouldn’t want me to be pining over you, but I think they were never really long term because…wow, it is hard to say, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>It hits Troy then that Abed knows, and Abed feels the same. The knowledge of it overwhelms him and the tears finally come, spilling out of his eyes and running hot down his cheeks. His shoulders shake and his chest feels like there’s a twenty pound weight on it, and then Abed does something that he’s very rarely done: he initiates a hug. He holds Troy tighter than he ever has before, arms tight around his sides as one hand runs up and down his back. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “I understand. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”</p>
<p>“Abed, I love you.” It comes out so suddenly and naturally that he kind of wonders why he was so scared to say it until now. </p>
<p>Abed exhales shakily and Troy wonders if he’s going to cry, too, and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to handle that, both of them sobbing in each other’s arms, but no tears come. “I love you, too.”</p>
<p>“I should’ve told you before I left.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. Confessions like that are kind of overdone.”</p>
<p>Troy has to laugh through his tears, because Abed is still holding him, and they’ve just told each other that they love each other, and he’s still comparing their life to a movie. He’s still Abed, and Troy loves him, and he’s never stopped loving him, and he doubts he ever will. “What about reunion confessions?”</p>
<p>“Still a pretty well-used trope, but if it’s done well it can be genuinely emotional moment.”</p>
<p>“I think this counts as one of those.”</p>
<p>“Me, too.”</p>
<p>Troy pulls away, and when they look at each other it’s like they’re thinking the same thing. Abed tilts his head in a way that is so specifically Abed, and Troy leans in and kisses him because it feels like the right thing to do. As soon as their lips meet he knows it’s the right thing to do. It’s a simple kiss, just their lips against each other, and it’s warm and sweet. It doesn’t last very long, but he isn’t sad when they pull away, because he knows there will be more. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize.” Abed says. “I’m…sorry if I made you feel bad when you got here. I guess I had thought about you coming back and ran so many simulations, I wasn’t sure what to do once it happened in real life. I thought it would be like a movie and I was so overwhelmed with how many feelings I felt.”</p>
<p>“I thought it would be like a movie, too,” Troy replies, shaking his head at his past self. “But I think it was better than a movie.”</p>
<p>Abed smiles, tilts his head curiously. “Really?”</p>
<p>“Way better.” He leans forward and kisses Abed again, wrapping his arms around him and pressing closer, suddenly filled with the need to wrap himself around Abed like he’s a tree. </p>
<p>“I think so, too,” Abed says when they separate, but leaves it at that and kisses him again. Somewhere in between everything, Troy thinks that he isn’t just back, he’s <em>home</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! i hope to write more for these two because they're really so wonderful and make me really happy &lt;3 my tumblr is @gobbluthlesbian if you'd like to chat xox</p></blockquote></div></div>
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